Monday, July 21, 2014

I'm just a stay at home mom.

Some of you know me. Some of you don't... you merely know "of me" and assume to understand my life and the ins and outs of being a stay at home mom. It isn't always sitting on the couch watching soap operas and devouring a bag of Lay's potato chips at 10 o clock in the morning. How many of you just thought of The Young and the Restless?  I won't tell, if you don't.

I personally have been a stay at home mom since I quit Starbucks in 07'. I had my middle son Joshua (JJ) and it was flat out impossible for me to keep my job, spend a ton of money on daycare for 2 kids, and commute back and forth. Josh and I crunched numbers and we discovered that at the end of my working life... I brought in a profit of 10 bucks. We couldn't afford to eat let alone go to a restaurant... couldn't waist gas on going to the park on the weekends or even drive to church on Sundays... we were so flat broke... that we couldn't put gas in "both" vehicles. We even tried to get assistance. Gasp if you must... it's a shameful part of our lives... but know this... our judgment doesn't come from you.

We we're denied because we made too much. I quit my job, stayed home with Gabe and with JJ growing in my belly... we eventually re applied and were granted Medicaid and food stamps. It saved our family! Fast forward... the death of a wonderful man and Josh's boss, sent us back to Buhl. AS God's plan would have it.. we ended up in the same place I lived as a kid, with my brother. The hatchery, owned by another man now, was hiring. The house we live in now, was renovated by Josh and we moved in just after having JJ. Living here for free and working for ARK fisheries was the best possible outcome we could ask for. It allowed me to stay home with the kids, take them to and from school and be close to Josh's work. After Lily Belle was born, I finished a novel, got my jewelry business back up and running, and stay very busy with all three kids, school and activities. I also have a disabled father that I run errands for, take care of and often have to paralegal on the side. My oldest son has Tourettes syndrome and my middle son has Aspergers. I am constantly attending to there needs... speaking at the school, and an active participant in there drug-free behavioral routines. Life is difficult enough to go through all of these things and go to church, run book clubs, have jewelry parties, and help out friends and family sooo much that they eventually take advantage of your kindness... and EXPECT you to do things for them... because you don't have a 9 to 5 job. I'm just a stay at home mom. I apparently have all the time in the world at my disposal.

 I mow lawns, clean other peoples houses, babysit, and handle odd jobs for people all the time. Do I get paid for it? NO. Do I do these things out of the kindness of my heart? Yes, I honestly do. I just bought my dad a house and handled it all myself. He only had to sign papers. I moved him with my own vehicles and didn't ask for a single penny. I handle all of his important phone calls and do his taxes. (I am his power of Attorney). People will randomly call me up and tell me to "do this" or "do that" and I just keep my mouth shut and do it... hoping for some gas money or something to get offered at one point or another. SOME kind of gesture that what I'm doing is appreciated. A kind word or a thank you is worth more than money in the bank. I have gotten 2 text messages as I sit here and type... they're both from people needing something from me. I have got to get a hold of myself... or I'm going to tell everyone to F off. My family is going through so much right now... everything is upside down (metaphorically speaking) and incredibly stressful. It's all culminating into this breaking point of mine. I'm about to go postal on people... and it's not even there fault. I have created monsters... and I must kill them. Just kidding... maybe not kill them as in the literal meaning... (Sorry Jesus) but in a fun  "stab them with their steely knives... but you just kill the beast" kind of way. What I mean to say is... I have to tell each and every one, within there own special circumstances... NO. Just a flat out... simple... NO. I'm sorry, I can't. If they don't have time to do it... that's too bad. It's their life. Not mine. Their problem, not mine. Some will understand and some won't. Some will guilt trip you into doing something else for them instead... like you OWE them a favor now. Stand your ground Jen... for crying out loud... your a freaking beast mode, mommy machine. Get over it.

This particular stay at home mommy could run for President, handle 3 dentist appointments before noon and mow a lawn in Texas by dinner, have her kids bathed, fed and in bed by 8 with time to spare to do the dishes and dance on a table in Tijuana with a red scarf around her neck, while clutching a bottle of Tequila. Maybe not the last part. A girl still has time to dream doesn't she?

Don't underestimate us world... just because you have a 9 to 5 job... and harbor resentment towards us ladies that are stay at home types... doesn't mean we aren't contributing to the world! Raising kids out of daycare is an honor and an amazing effort and is totally worth it! Don't hate...  and don't take advantage of people who you think don't work. How about YOU hire a nanny or a butler to handle all of your silly little demands and leave us stay at home moms the hell alone. WE don't have the time to wipe your butt too. The payment for us is having great kids who had hardworking parents (In and out of the home) sacrifice for them. Thank a mom and get off your high horse.. WORLD! Just as a disclaimer... if your name is actually "World".... than I apologize. It's probably not about you. :)


  1. You go, Girl!! You do an awesome job of taking care of your kids, husband, dad, home, writing, etc, etc, etc. I remember working when Josh was little and work got me out of a lot of what you do. I tried to do as much as I could, but you literally do so much more than I had to. You ARE AWESOME! And I mean that sincerely! Tightening your belt and saying NO will actually be a good thing for you and your family..... those that really love you and not just what you do for them will understand and be butt hurt about it.... those that don't, oh well! Love you, Girl!!

  2. Meant to say "NOT be butt hurt about it"..... sorry, faux pas!